I live in the city and work 25 miles up the Interstate in a county that is home to eagles, great blue herons and golden eagle. I looked for all of them this morning. The sight of them always grounds me in miracles.
But they, too, were elusive. I got to work, ran through the already-too-hot air and started my workday. The computer meant Pandora and meditative music - David & Steve Gordon, Anugama, Peter Davison. It also means,checking out my Tweets from the Daiai Lama, Marianne Williamson, and Lama Surya Das. That's where a tweet from Lama Surya Das directed me to his blog that would serve as the eagles I didn't see this morning.
He wrote about The Five Perfections at Beliefnet.com. As I read, I found my Place:
This moment’s teaching, whatever you’re getting, is the perfect teaching. If it’s silence, this is the perfect teaching. If it’s birdsong or traffic noise—that’s it. If it’s a harsh lesson or confusing, this, too, is it. None other to seek or long for; utmost reality is encoded in it, right here and now. The noble Dharma, or liberating Truth, is being eloquently expressed right here and now, for those with unobstructed ears to hear and eyes of pure vision to see. The sound of the stream is the song of the divine; the wind in the trees, the breath of the Goddess. Those around us are our sangha, the congregation or holy community of bodhisattvas and seekers.
That was my eagle. There it was, the vision above the mundane. The vision that makes the mundane Sacred. Who am I to judge the seeming mundane as unacceptable, as beneath my enjoyment or appreciation, as something to NOT want to be a part of? Much as I was fighting it this morning, going to work is part of my Sacredness. It is where Monday morning becomes Holy. I-95 is my Sacred Journey to my Holy Monday. All is part of Who I Be and Where I Am.
The problem isn't Monday morning, the problem is me and how I sit in it. I was not 'sitting' this morning. I was somewhere else and it resulted in fear. I was out of Awareness and into shaky ground. I was ready to run. I was not here.
Everything is Sacred. Life is Sacred. Living is Holy. So much happened this weekend that wants to tear at the mind and mishape it. There was a violence in Norway that made no sense, not that violence ever makes sense, but this was formed in the mind of a mad man who looked like a neighbor. He didn't look 'crazed', but he was. In Baltimore, a baby is missing and the images of his hysterical young mother is heart breaking. I have a 9 month old grandbaby and her terror was mine. A young addict whose songs win awards was found dead on Saturday. We have watched her for years, hoping she would find the safety of Sobriety.
The Holiness of such painful occurrences is hard to see, but it is there in the emotions and the prayers that rise like little lights of Hope. Thank Goodness we can pray! But, I wasn't seeing it this morning. I was caught up in my own Monday morning anguish, wishing I were somewhere else other than here. But HERE is my Sacredness. HERE is my NOW. It is my Breath and my Heart and the vibrancy of all that IS.
I am learning to not be dependent on my outward life, the life that is more Sacred than I often allow it to be. I judge between environments - wanting my surroundings to be peaceful and kind. Wanting my outsides to be what I struggle to make my 'insides'. I am learning how to be here in such a way that my outsides will not determine my inside environment. I am learning through my focus on Buddhism and Spirituality to truly appreciate EVERYTHING.
Life is an incredible miracle. It does not make scientific sense. We should not be, yet we are. I don't make my heart beat, yet it does, like clockwork. My own special clock of life. Miracles surround us - birds make music, butterflies are virtual living artwork and our pets love us unconditionally.
If I stay in that, I have Peace. If I stay AWAKE in the vision of Gratitude, I am always in Serenity. If I stay here, I am content.
It's when I decide that certain aspects of living are unacceptable that I struggle with being here. When I simply Be Here, I am OK. I am more than ok, I am alive!
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